k i said i would leave this kid alone but i was clickin around my old posts, discovered she deleted stuff, investigated why, and found this. i just want to address one thing
So queer people only refers to same-sex attraction. Not gender, mind you. Sex. Queer should never be defined as not-straight, trans* people are completely erased with the whole sex = gender bit in this definition. I can’t find the post but she even responded that some people didn’t consider certain trans* people to be queer, but graciously, she personally allowed these people who suffer the highest hate crime and suicide rate in since they’d been there since the beginning (of time, I suppose?). Gay ace people have too, but we’ve just been invisible and marginialized in our own community but apparently that’s not a thing to talk about.
i can only assume she is talking about this post of mine, which i will also quote for you:
trans people have every right to identify as and reclaim queer should they want to, because their histories are so intertwined with ours as lgb people and because they still face violence and discrimination closely related to homophobia.
however, when talking about queer as an identifier for sexual identities, you will not see me explicitly state this. firstly because trans people do not across the board believe that being trans makes them queer, and secondly because it is patently clear that in these conversation we are talking about sexualities.
here is another post by harmonioussanctity that also sums up why defining queer as “same-sex attraction” in these conversation is accurate and not exclusionary toward trans people.
i have bolded the only part i can see that comes close to fitting her statement that “ she even responded that some people didn’t consider certain trans* people to be queer, but graciously, she personally allowed these people who suffer the highest hate crime and suicide rate in.” however, as you can see, i am referring specifically to trans people who object to being auto-queer just by virtue of being trans for various valid reasons, not to transphobes trying to distance lgb people from trans people. my words have been misrepresented, either through a failure of reading comprehension or a deliberate attempt to discredit me.
and as a side note regarding the snarky “since the beginning” line: yes, since the beginning of the modern queer rights movement and before that as well, learn some damn history.
I was damn near going to respond to her myself, but seeing the entire post, I just gave up. I do have a simile I saved, which I’m tempted to use again at some point.
It’s like the icing on a cake. It’s something that can be a part of the cake, but it is not a core part of what makes a cake a cake. It’s a garnish that can certainly affect and modify the taste that said person can experience, but it is not a part of the soft bread core that is the entire base of queer identity. If it were, it wouldn’t be icing, it would be the cake. But it’s not the cake. It’s the icing. It’s the garnish on top. It can be fabulous and extravagant, but it’s not the cake. It’s not the foundation.
I’m thinking of making an infographic to go along with this. Maybe something pointing to the cake labeling it “Queer” and then something pointing to the icing saying “Asexuality, gender, race, economic class, physical/mental ability, etc”. See if that gets the message across.
“I wanted to leave this “kid” (wtf?) alone but then I decided to go through her blog and shit. kay makes sense.
Wow, that cake simile is…something.
I apparently mistook partysoft for closetospring because I could NOT find the post (and it make sense partysoft would respond to her own post), as I said, and was forced to go from memory so I had to say what she said and could not help saying in sarcastically (there was nothing about including trans* people that I remember. Could have been my bad). I’m sorry I misrepresented them and will edit that part.
Honestly, I do not care anymore. You guys can keep on saying all aces have to be this way to be queer and what counts as oppression all you want. You can try to dicatate about my orientaion and compare it to all sorts of random shit all you want! You aren’t the Queer Police, so it’s not if it changes the definition if you do this. Who you want to exclude, who you want to deal with is your business. It felt like splitting atoms for me after a while, getting into this. I’m part of this community, I had a different opinion, and I didn’t like how you guys treated me and the thing that got me blindingly mad was trying to dictate how abuse victims can categorize abuse, how people who are marginalized can categorize their struggling and that informed everything else. Things were said, some I wish I hadn’t, and you guys don’t want to admit you acted badly, fine. I certainly respected the stuff ghostferry wrote in the past, though I don’t know about the rest of you since you just jumped in. I respect your experiences, I just don’t respect your disrespect of others’ experiences. You can leave me alone and I’ll leave you alone.