People Like Me Ruin Feminism

NOW TO RAMBLE SOME ABOUT THIS SCENE because i love it so damn much. it is so perfectly haruka and michiru that i don’t even know how to deal.

haruka is concealing her weakness. of course she is. and none of the girls can see it at all — one comments that michiru looks pale as they leave, but nobody notices haruka’s struggling to keep herself together, other than michiru. ‘i can’t let the others see me like this’, haruka says — only around michiru can she show her weak side. not that it matters; even if she didn’t want to, michiru would know.

and even during this incredibly intimate moment, haruka gets up and pulls away. it’s so much like the hand scene in the anime: michiru reaching out in such a sincere, raw manner, and haruka being overwhelmed by it, as well as horrified by the meaning it holds, the sinking realization they’re both going to die — and pulling away.

and michiru lets her, but follows a few steps after her, and continues laying herself bare even now that haruka’s back is turned to her: i will follow you no matter where you go. (‘we’re together even in death.’) they’re both weakened by illness, their powers are gone, the earth is on the verge of destruction, and haruka is going to fight if it kills her, and that’s why michiru will, too. she will push herself beyond her body’s limits because she knows haruka will do the same. and she will not for as long as one moment place her own well being above haruka.

haruka is so moved, it is written so plainly across her face (because her go-to response in situations like this is close herself up, and it still manages to catch her off guard whenever michiru doesn’t), and yet she still tries to smile and joke about it, the way she always does. michiru forces a silent, pitiful smile in response.

even when she’s talking about their approaching deaths, haruka’s doing it with a so-terribly-forced grin on her face and a lighthearted (but trembling) tone; ‘wonder if we’ll die?’, and michiru’s trying so hard to match herself up to that, but all that comes out is this shaky ghost of a laugh and a helpless shake of her head.