Cole: You wanna smoke
Tim: sorry I don’t
Cole: you’re pretty straightedge huh
Tim: IS THAT THE NAME OF NEW RAZER WEILDING GANG
oh wait he means i’m a square
Tim: OH GOD HE HAS A CRUSH ON STEPHANIE THAT IS WHAT HE’S IMPLYING. NEAT. WHAT DO I DO IN THIS SITUATION
"UM are you challenging me to a duel you’ll have to forgive me I’m from the suburbs i don’t do pistols at dawn"
yes that was smooth
seriously there was so much adorable with Steph and Tim in the Jon Lewis robin run let me try to remember it all
Tim’s inner monologues:
That girl was cute
BUT YOU KNOW WHO’S CUTER
i’m not going to write that on an overpass though that would be illegal
You know I wonder if Steph wants to quit being a superhero
wait who am I kidding this is Stephanie fucking Brown I’m talking about most dedicated to being a superhero in the universe
I want to quit being Robin because Bruce is a terrible human being and I am tired of him. That is what I am thinking. I want Steph to want to quit too so I’d have an excuse. DON’T PROJECT YOUR WANTS AND DESIRES ONTO STEPHANIE, TIM. ugh I am such a loser.
Stephanie: wtf is Tim doing here this is what he does when he doesn’t answer my calls hang out with losers
Tim: I’m not sure I like this music but they are trying so hard A for effort
StepH: THIS MUSIC IS AWFUL. F. F’S FOR EVERYONE
holy shit Tim is crying
Tim is crying over this terrible music
Tim: THIS REMINDS ME OF MY DEAD MOM
Steph: okay maybe there are drugs in what he ate i’M GOING TO TAKE A SAMPLE AND TEST IT
tim was the dorkiest dork
Tim: OH NO STEPH CALLED ME TODAY WAS HER DAY OFF AND I FORGOT I AM THE WORST BOYFRIEND I MUST RUSH HOME AND BEG HER FORGIVENESS
OH LOOK A CRIME PEOPLE ARR TRADING THE DRUGS NO THAT’S NOT A CRIME WELL YES IT IS WELL I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THAT I HAVE TO CALL STEPHANIE
okay I arrested a guy time to call Steph
Tim: STEPHANIE I AM SO SORRY WILL YOU EVER FORGIVE ME
Steph: i guess.
Tim: YOU SOUND SO MAD
Steph: i have a cold.
Tim: BECAUSE OF ME
Steph: no… okay you know what we’ll talk later.
Tim: SHE HATES ME I MUST FIX THIS. okay Stephanie I will make you some CHICKEN SOUP
…I AM A SUPERHERO I CAN TAKE THIS SOUP
fuck I have no idea how to make soup Dana could you teach me how to make soup for my girlfriend
Dana: I SUPPORT THIS PROJECT
Steph: Aw the soup has cured my woes. by the way i have a sample of food we should test to see if you were on drugs last night
Tim: I already tested that actually
Steph: oh okay
Cole: hey ur cute wanna talk lit
Steph: Yeah when I had long blonde hair I was an idiot now that it’s short you’ve decided i’m an intellectual get out of my face before I punch you u shallow asshole
Tim: “yeah i’m here for the hippie chicks” (ps I would never use the demeaning term chicks in real life that is rude to women this is part of my disguise)
Me: tim calm down
and he was 100 percent done with Bruce’s shit
Bruce: so you’re probably mad I fired Stephanie
Tim: I wonder if I should just like
open the door to the Batmobile
and jump out
because i am so tired of him rn
then then then
Tim: STEPHANIE DO YOU LOVE ME
Steph: wh-wha uh yeah of course I do
Tim: DO YOU TRUST ME?
Steph: You’ve always been there for me so yeah
Tim: OKAY I’M GOING TO ASK YOU TO DO SOMETHING REALLY WEIRD
Steph: ….where are you going with this
Tim: GROSS EVEN
Tim: PLEASE STUFF THIS MODELING CLAY UP YOUR NOSE
Steph: jesus christ you are the weirdest person
Steph: Tim we should talk about a thing
Tim: HOLY SHIT SHE’S BREAKING UP WITH ME
I AM NOT SURPRISED I AM THE WORST BOYFRIEND IN THE WORLD I AM SO NEGLECTFUL
MY LIFE IS OVER HOW CAN I DEAL WITH THIS
WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN TO MEEEE
Steph: Tim I’ve been staying in hotels because I’m mad at my mom
Tim: OH THANK CHRIST YOU’RE NOT BREAKING UP WITH ME
Tim: I mean
you should have told me about that and stuff
I remember reading an old Robin comic where Tim said Bruce ordered him not kill anyone even to save his own life
Bruce told a 13 year old boy that if someone was going to kill him and the only way to stop them was risk killing them, he should just die
because your life is less valuable than your murderer’s.
THIS WAS AFTER JASON???
and because it was Tim, who followed everything Bruce said to the letter, who craved his approval in everything, you know he would have done it. He would have happily died rather than disobey Bruce.
what the fuck is wrong with you bruce why are you allowed to have authority over children
"let’s make a character. Let’s have her grow up with an abusive father who beats her and her mother. Lets have her mother turn to drugs because their life sucks so much. Let’s have her have been sexually assaulted when she was younger by one of her father’s friends. Let’s show that she slept with total assholes- heavily implied it was because she was depressed- and got pregnant"
Lets have Batman repeatedly intimidate, emotionally manipulate and tell her she’s not good enough. Lets have Robin tell her he’ll date her on the condition she’s okay with the fact he’ll never tell her his civilian identity, never tell her where he lives, what his family is, his real name- all while having invaded her privacy to find out everything there is to know about her. Let’s have her accept without hesitation because he’s “the nicest guy she ever dated” and “probably too good for her”. Naturally when she sees him interacting with girls he’s close to in his “other life”, she wonders if he’s actually using and cheating on her like every other boy she’s been with. When Batman tells her her boyfriend’s identity, she goes to see him and he gets so mad. Everyone blames her for this even though she literally had no choice in the matter.
Let’s have Batman fire her later on without explanation LITERALLY SAYING it’s “because your father (who abused you) (repeatedly) is a criminal. Oh by the way sorry he died (he seriously said that) (Batman who won’t shut up about his dead parents literally does not give a shit when other people’s parents die).
Let’s have Batman decides to rehire her SOLELY TO USE HER AS A PAWN TO GET BACK AT HIS TEENAGE CHARGE. Let’s have him make her Robin, supposedly the most trusted aide and position, and still refuse to tell her he’s really Bruce Wayne because he just wants to use her. Like he straight up says it’s to make Tim jealous. He emotionally manipulates her, makes her believe she has a chance to have a father figure, the chance to make him proud and then fires her on her first mistake and never contacts her again. Basically, like every other older man, he emotionally abuses and uses her as nothing but a tool.
Let’s have her desperately try to prove to Batman she’s good enough, end up accidentally triggering a gang war because she didn’t know Batman’s actual identity even though she was his sidekick! Then let’s have her be tortured to death in a sexualized position with a power drill ( a penetrating weapon) by a male villian, who repeatedly jokes about her sexuality and how he wants to molest her and how she should have stayed in the kitchen. like there’s not even subtext there. And then let’s have literally everyone- her boyfriend, her best friend (THEY HAD CASS DO THIS AND I’M STILL SO ANGRY), Batman, THE NEWS, HER GHOST!!!- blame her for her death. Say it was because she screwed up.
And she doesn’t get a memorial. Fans have to campaign for years to get one. And get her to come back. And the guy who wrote her death says of these fans “those girls were so annoying I wanted to shoot them in the face”
DC comics everyone.