everything’s sad

I should never talk in class

our animation teacher is so in love with Walt Disney he should probably consider marrying his corpse so like apparently he can’t like Dumbo and acknowledge its racism at the same time

I mean I tried to point out naming something Jim Crow is really not okay and I don’t care if it was the forties? It just? That was a real thing that affected people?

first he doubted that was a thing, but then if it was a thing it was okay because it’s just the credits and anyway Jim was a common name and you can’t maybe they were protesting it (HOW?) and

no stop making excuses

like you can go to town and feel super proud of yourself for pointing out racial slurs and blackface is wrong because we’re so enlightened an that shit is obvious, but when it comes to stuff that is even slightly more subtle we make excuses saying simultaneously “it was the time” and “it isn’t that bad”. Well if it was a product of it’s time, why do we still think it isn’t that bad or isn’t racist? The fact we’re willing to make excuses for it show we still think it’s okay even today. We’re so against racism, except when acknowledging it actually interferes in something we enjoy, like sucking Disney’s dick.

And it somehow got to “are we going to crit Lincoln for being a product of his time” and I said “well…yes???” and some guy laughed at me and

it always happen whenever I try to talk someone laughs at me or talks over me and my social anxiety just

it’s always a dude too they’re just socialized to think it’s more okay to be rude little fuckers cuz they know they can get away with it

and it just made me want to say something because hey there’s not a black person in this room, we’re a room full of self-congratulatory white liberals and maybe we should acknowledge we don’t really have a say on what is racist here? There are other point of views and if no ones going to bring them up I guess I will because how can I not? But if I do I’m mocked because I…just don’t want to pat my own back or overlook anything because if someone did that about sexism I’d be furious and I’ve read essays by people of color talking about how we shouldn’t excuse things as the time

but if I try to say something it’s just like whenever I tried to talk about sexism as a kid or now, people want to mock me and shut me up and I’m afraid to keep talking because a) social anxiety I hate people making fun of me IRL that’s why I started crying in class (not loudly no one noticed)

b) I don’t want to speak for anyone I just want to point out “hey you guys are being pretty damn self-congratualatory and overlooking and excusing text book 40s racism maybe that’s not okay especially since we’re not bothering to consider reading research by people of color or conidering what they think and the different opinions they might have about it how about we do that instead of just blindly believing what our white male professor says”

but if it’s not a race or WGSS class people will just laugh at me for even suggesting

so whatever why do i try it just makes me want to curl into a ball and die

Tags: college